Log # 11-88-68-98635\A
“And then they made me their king!”
“no they didn’t.”
The deadpan response from his jailer guard didn’t even leave a moment for thought as 718 finally finished up one of his random rants that he began almost five minutes ago. The lack of shock maul beatings and robed men pauseing him every other sentence had finally let him start telling some of his stories that had nothing to do with anything at all.
“right… where was I then?”
“You had just killed smilie.”
“ahh yes… so away we go back to Nihilius and what happens once we get there? Well he takes the tech-y and runs off after those bonerfactors or whatever. Well it was no skin off my nose… at least not until we get an assignment about a bomb going off in the center and bottom of the hive. Well I can spot a crap assignment when I see one and that was a crap assignment the only good thing that could have come from it was that there was none other then a sister of battle that was going to be part of the group! Well you know what they say about warrior women. Hawtness at twelve a clock if I don’t mind saying so.”
With that he gives a wink to his guard and smiles with a ‘you know what I mean’ look as he continues his story his face quickly going sour again.
“Of course we end up with a ex commissar or whatever. Seriously my teammates can be complete and utter cock blockers to the ninth degree sometimes. Anyways we get in our own personal tank and head down. Getting there is easy enough when you don’t worry about human speedbumps so we make it to the statue that its underneath and bust a cap in a few guards asses while the spook psycher scares away the crowd. We even manage to take out a couple of nobles and wouldn’t you know it as soon as the ‘party leader’ looks away their purses up and vanish. I mean it must have been a hole in the warp or somethin. Well I figure I’d only get in the way and if that thing goes off we’re all dead no matter where we are so I decided to help our little group acquire some… war funds.”
With that he gives another knowing smile to his guard as he leans back in his chair getting as comfortable as the chair and manacles will allow.
“so as quick as you please I turn over a jewelry store-”
“You turned over an entire store?”
“-and… what? No I broke in and stole every last penny they had… what are you some kinda void born? Anyways where was I… right so I end up set for life with that little haul, I tell you what, and head back to meet up with the others saying I had to piss or someth’n… Well they’ve disarmed whatever it was and we proceed to head back up to our new base of operations.”
At that 718’s face takes a darker look and his voice a darker tone.
“Of course that was the easy part belive it or not… we get back up there and after a little waiting suddenly we get a message from an quistor named… Isenguard I think… telling us that we’re off to fight… and you’ll never belove this… orks. O-R-K-S, Orks… the big green plague on the whole friggen verse that can go toe to toe with a space marine and win. THOSE ORKS! Now as soon as I hear this I pitch in, repeatedly, that this is an incredibly bad idea and we should just tell this Isenguard to screw off but do they listen… NOOOOO!
I mean seriously no one listens to me, I’m just the stupid scum. Those assholes probably don’t even think I can read much less know anything other then smelling bad or being an asshole. Well let me tell you this time it came back to bite them and me in the ass. It’s like no one had even seen an ork much less thought of one as a threat. Sure when we got to the planet and had a fun trip down to the field we mopped the floor with the few we saw but those were just your basic run of the mill greenies.
They wanted me and the rest of the group to attack the friggen rock they landed on the planet with. Now I was the first one, last one, middle one, and some odd mix of all those one to tell them this was a bad idea and we should tell Isenguar to screw off. However they didn’t listen. THEY NEVER LISTEN. I by no means am stupid and I can tell white washing propaganda when I see it. You know that primer the guards have? Complete bull but its easy enough to tell what the verse is like from accepting the opposite of whats in it.
Primitive mind? Sure but how smart do you have to be to put a bullet or ax into someone. Not as strong as they look, like the warp spawned horrors they aren’t! Primitive weapons? Well duh but every last pea shooter in the galaxy short of the eldar and those necontyr is primitive! But like all good travel companions they just outright ignore me as I tell them how freakishly stupid this plan is…”
End Log # 11-88-68-98635\A